I work for a very nice corporate client who was celebrating
a recent business success. To mark the occasion, they created a lovely spread of
cupcakes in the employee cafeteria. I was on campus covering other stories, and
I wanted to get some photos of the event. And then I got sidetracked into an
afternoon’s worth of ruminations on shame, joy and how hard women can be on
themselves.
I saw a woman approach the table and take two cupcakes. I asked: “Would you mind posing for me by the ‘Congratulations!’ poster,
looking happy and holding your cupcakes?” She looked at me aghast, as if I’d
asked her to remove several items of clothing and lay herself out on the
catering table. “No!” she said, scurrying away.
Undaunted, I wandered into the cafeteria, noticing a woman who
had just returned with a plate of the cupcakes for her friends. As she doled
them out, I approached: “Ladies, would you mind holding up your cupcakes and
smiling for me?” Again with the quick and horrified refusals. Sensing my
dismay, one of the women had a suggestion for me. “If you want a picture, go to
that table,” she said, pointing at a five-top of guys about 20 feet away. “I
bet they’ll let you.”
And lo, it came to pass. The men happily hoisted their
treats and smiled obligingly into the camera. They looked as though they were generally happy fellows, possibly extra happy about getting a
free cupcake at work. I got the sense that more than one of them might help
himself to seconds, if he felt so inclined. If their lips turned blue from the lurid frosting, I doubted they'd care. Cupcakes were
happy food, and they were happy about having them. And that was clearly as much
thought as they’d given to the entire matter.
I looked back at the table of women, none of whom was willing
to have photographic evidence that she had ever, ever eaten a cupcake. Their
treats were not going to taste very good. It might as well have been
frosting-covered mud pies those gals were wolfing down. And if they wanted a
second cupcake, they’d have to sneak down when no one was in the cafeteria, and
eat it all in one bite. At least no would have a picture of them doing it, thank
God.
I write a lot about food. I write about trending ethnic
cuisines and demographic shifts in snacking and what spicy condiment is about
to knock Sriracha off its throne. I write about the importance of probiotics to
create a happy climate for gut bacteria, the role of fiber in avoiding
blood sugar spikes, and why just about everyone needs more magnesium in their diet. But I never
write about joy, and I think it’s time I do.
It’s okay to eat food. It’s okay to let others see you
eating food. And it’s even okay to eat a cupcake, as long as you savor and
delight in every single morsel. If you end up with blue lips and a three o’clock
headache, so what. I am not sure where we women lost track of this, but it’s
time to reclaim the simple, goofy attitude of the guys at that table: Oh boy, free
cupcakes. Don’t mind if I do.
Posts
