I live at the bottom of a hill. More specifically, my front yard faces the base of one of the steepest slopes in what’s called “The Grand Rounds” of our municipal bike path. On uphill cycling journeys, the sight of this hill generates gritted teeth, groans, and, often, the decision to hop off and push the bike up on foot. On the downhill side, the swift ride to the bottom seems to demand an exclamation from even the most taciturn Scandinavians -- “whee” being the standard utterance for someone who is letting go and letting gravity take over on West Minnehaha Parkway.
One of the happiest harbingers of spring is on that first Saturday afternoon when it’s warm enough for the windows
to finally be open all afternoon, not just for a brisk morning airing. With the
open-windowed house facing the path across the street, I’m once again
connected to the community that’s passing by my door – the wisp of a baby’s wail,
being shuttled past by an exhausted parent, the jingling of a heavily tagged dog
trotting by, launching my dogs into an agony of “no trespassers!” warning barks.
But when I hear the first exultant “whee” from a cyclist
flying down that hill, then I know in my heart that spring has finally made its
way to Minneapolis. People cycle on
these paths year-round, but it’s only in spring that the “whees” return.
With every joy there is a sorrow, and, mixed in with all
those happy-faced, delighted encounters with terminal velocity, there are also
a goodly number of brutal examples of the essential vulnerability of our mortal
selves as we combine machines, speed and gravity, fancy bike helmets notwithstanding. When you
live at the bottom of a steep cycling hill, you not only hear a lot of “whees” –
you see a lot of accidents, too.
I always have big band-aids on hand, and gauze, and ice packs
that I can hand off -- for the woman who broke her ankle when a teenaged boy,
racing his friends, decided to take a shortcut on the pedestrian path and
plowed right into her last August, or for the boy who tipped over his
handlebars, cut his lips badly with his own braces, and lost his eyeglasses in the
underbrush a few years ago. Ambulances have been called. Seriously bad things
have happened, right outside my door.
By those standards, what happened on Tuesday night, even if
it resulted in twelve stitches administered to a tiny, but valiant, chin, was
pretty mild. I had just stepped outside when I heard
a boy’s cry, then looked across and saw the telltale signs – a bike lying flat,
a Mom kneeling down over a small figure, an older sister standing by. “Do you
need ice, a towel or a band-aid?” I called out, my usual First Aid Menu, here
at the Accident Cafe. The mother’s face that appeared, her head snapping up
at the offer of help, was wide-eyed, beautiful and worried. “A towel,” she
called back, “and thank you.”
By the time I’d raced into my own house and come back out with a
dampened towel, the trio had made their way into my front yard, as the injured
often do. Bikes were tossed in the grass, the boy sat on the curb, and the mom
began to dab at spots on his arms and legs. “Do you think he’ll need stitches?”
she asked, tipping his chin up and revealing a very deep and ragged gash. I was
conscious that both of them were looking right at me, so my first reaction -- "For the love of Jesus! Don’t show me
that! Now I have to go upstairs and lie down; goodbye!”
didn’t seem like such a good idea. I tried to keep my face neutral, because
I could tell the boy was watching it closely. “Tell you what,” I said, “Let’s
put a few band-aids on it and see what happens.”
The older sister began to assert herself. You can’t be five
years old, the ordained boss of a younger brother, and not begin to let everyone
present become aware of your opinions on the matter. “This would be his fifth
set of stitches,” she archly confided, in a tone that indicated that she was hoping for some
tsk-tsking on my part. I just nodded, noncomittally. This is a man, I thought, who leads with his chin.
Once the sting from that first hard slap of reality had
begun to wear off, the practicality of dealing with the aftermath of an
accident began to emerge. The question is always the same -- what happens next?
“Do you think you can ride your bike home, Theo, or walk it?” the mom asked, in a jolly of-course-you-can manner that fooled no one. Let’s just say here that “Theo firmly declined this offer,” and draw a veil over the actual words that transpired.
“Do you think you can ride your bike home, Theo, or walk it?” the mom asked, in a jolly of-course-you-can manner that fooled no one. Let’s just say here that “Theo firmly declined this offer,” and draw a veil over the actual words that transpired.
“We can drive you
home,” I suggested, “and put your bikes in the back of our car.” She thought
this over for a moment, then looked up at me with her big, lovely eyes. I could
tell I was talking with a woman who had read every single brochure in the
pediatrician’s office, twice. “But you don’t have car seats in your car,” she
said. Right.
Finally, it was decided that she would run the four blocks back to her house, get the car (with the car seats, thank God), and drive the kids home, then figure out how to have that chin stitched up. As she started to go, she realized that the one hitch in this plan was that she was forced to leave her children with a complete stranger, and she looked back to me for mother-to-mother comfort. “We will not leave this spot,” I promised, patting the very safe-looking grass of the front yard. She hesitated, then turned and ran off.
Finally, it was decided that she would run the four blocks back to her house, get the car (with the car seats, thank God), and drive the kids home, then figure out how to have that chin stitched up. As she started to go, she realized that the one hitch in this plan was that she was forced to leave her children with a complete stranger, and she looked back to me for mother-to-mother comfort. “We will not leave this spot,” I promised, patting the very safe-looking grass of the front yard. She hesitated, then turned and ran off.
And that’s how I got to spend some time with Flora, age five, and
Theo, age three, who, while a bit battered by recent events, were really the nicest
part of my Tuesday afternoon. “The first order of business,” I declared, “is
Fruit Roll-Ups and some glasses of water.” Flora’s eyes got very big. “I’ve
never had a Fruit Roll-Up before,” she confessed. As I handed over the shiny
little packets, their eyes gleamed with the zeal of kids who have seen a lot of
baby carrots in their day. I almost said, “Let’s not mention this to mom,” but
quickly realized the folly that lay down that particular rabbit hole. Instead I
cheerily declared, “First time for everything,” and watched the two of them
ravenously gobble down the little packets.
“I think Theo’s teeth are bleeding, too,” she said, peering
in at him, but closer inspection revealed a gummy chunk of roll-up between a crevice.
She was used to looking at him very closely, I realized, probably out of the
corner of her eye, when she didn’t think anyone else noticed.
For his part, the injured party was having a pretty good time. I had an ice pack on his knee, and I kept applying fresh band-aids to a chin wound that can only be described as “gushing.” In the meantime, he busied himself patting the small dog and looking at the big one.
“I think that big one looks like Scooby Doo,” I told Flora. “We’ve never watched that, but I’ve heard about it,” she told me. Oh, you darling children, you've been raised on PBS and baby carrots, and now here you are at the witch's gingerbread house, I worried. Well, they'd have a lot to talk about at dinner tonight.
For his part, the injured party was having a pretty good time. I had an ice pack on his knee, and I kept applying fresh band-aids to a chin wound that can only be described as “gushing.” In the meantime, he busied himself patting the small dog and looking at the big one.
“I think that big one looks like Scooby Doo,” I told Flora. “We’ve never watched that, but I’ve heard about it,” she told me. Oh, you darling children, you've been raised on PBS and baby carrots, and now here you are at the witch's gingerbread house, I worried. Well, they'd have a lot to talk about at dinner tonight.
Theo, I noticed, was wearing a bead bracelet, which
spelled out, it was revealed, “Worm.” Asked why, he declared matter-of-factly, “Cause
I wuv em.” Flora’s bracelet, appropriately, said “Love,” and she hadn’t
forgotten the silent “e” when she’d spelled it, either.
We talked about school, about what books they liked to read.
Theo told me he loved a series about pirates who wore “dirt perfume made out of
dirt,” and Flora was compelled to tell me, “that’s not a real book.” “But it could
be,” I said, “and maybe he’ll write it.” She thought about that for a while.
I wondered what it was that seemed so remarkable about these
children, and then I realized: they were
relaxed. Even though something bad had happened, their mom had told them she
was going to fix it, and they were going to be okay. They were spending time
with strangers, but, based on current experience, strangers turned out to
pretty nice, with sugary snacks and dogs to pet. No matter what had happened so far in their short lives, it was clear to me that they have always had a place they can lean into for a bit of rest and comfort. So far
at least, there has always been a set of loving hands to hold them up and give
them peace.
I thought about the children I encounter at the Crisis
Nursery, and the contrast is so marked. It’s as if Flora and
Theo are allowed to face life’s dangers from the safety of a big, comfy recliner, always
supported by the wise and loving adults who care for them. My nursery kids have usually been dealt the life equivalent of a hard metal chair, the sort with one wonky leg and a
spring that snaps shut on little fingers. “Relaxed” is the last word I’d ever
use to describe those kids with whom I've spent so much time, so it was strange to have two relatively calm children
right there in front of me, even if one of them was bleeding bucketsful onto one of my
kitchen towels.
“Mom should be here soon,” Flora said, and lo, there was
mom, hustling up the sidewalk. You have a need, and the answer appears. What a
good way to start out a life.
I hugged the kids goodbye and told them to wave the next
time they rode by, but carefully, please. As they walked away, I could hear Flora telling her mother,
“I have something to tell you. She gave us Fruit Roll-Ups.” I hustled inside, quickly, to put away all the
band-aid papers, wash off some spattered blood, and say a small prayer for Theo’s
battered chin.
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